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"One Place Where She Still Had Energy": The African Violet QueenMilton Erickson: Now another example of short-term therapy. It isn't so much what the therapist does, as what he gets his patient to do.A classmate of mine saw me and said his mother and sister and her sister lived inMilwaukee. Both were independently wealthy. And his aunt had a great big home, agreat big yard, 52 years old, unmarried, totally friendless. She went to church, uh,regularly. She sat by-by herself. She didn't speak to the Episcopalian minister. Shedidn't speak to any of the parishioners. And she went to church on every possibleoccasion.She had a housekeeper and a maid who came in each morning to do the housework,prepare the meals, wash the dishes. And then in the evening left. The housekeeperbought supplies, paid the yardman to keep the yard looking beautiful.And that woman lived alone at a great big house. And my classmate told me, "Myaunt has been profoundly depressed for nine months. The housekeeper is worriedabout her, so is the maid. She and my mother won't speak to each other. She has nofriends, and just goes to church. She likes me. She can't stand too frequent visitsfrom me. Once a year is about all she can take. And I'm worried about her. Now Iknew your lecture trips to Milwaukee. Will you look her up and see if you can doanything for her?"One evening I rapped at her door, the housekeeper and maid had long departed. Iidentified myself and demanded that I be given a tour of the house. And shepassively agreed. I went from one room to another inspecting, hoping I'd findsomething that I could use. And in the sunroom, I saw three African Violets in fullbloom, different colors. And in a fourth pot I saw that she had planted a leaf, be-African Violets are propagated by planting leaves. And here's this depressed womanpassively walking through the house, showing it room by room to a stranger, didn'tcare about it at all. I saw those three adult African Violets and the third one beingsprouted.And I said, "Madam, in accordance with your son's wishes I'm going to write someprescriptions for you and I want them carried out. You give these prescriptions toyour housekeeper tomorrow morning. Have her carry them out. I've prescribed thatthe housekeeper buy her an adult African Violet of every hue that she did not own.I think at that time there were 13 different hues. And then, she is to buy 50 pottingpots and a supply of soil from the nursery so she could plant some more AfricanViolet leaves and start growing African Violets. And I also asked that thehousekeeper buy 200 gift flowerpots. And my orders were: Every time a baby wasborn to a member of the church she'd send the baby an adult African Violet. Everytime a baby got christened she'd send an adult African Violet. Every time a churchmember got sick that member got an adult African Violet. Every time a girlannounced her engagement she got an-uh, African Violet. Every couple that wasmarried in church got an African Violet. At every church bazaar she contributed 12to 20 African Violets to be sold. Every possible opportunity she was to give anAfrican Violet. At one time I know she had over 200 adult African Violets. Now mywife thinks she really accomplished something. She kept a single African Violetplant alive and in full bloom for three years. And they are the tenderest, urn plantsand they will die at the-the faintest excuse. The light has to be just right, theamount of water you've given them, just right. And taking care of 200 or moreAfrican Violets is a day's work. It doesn't give you a chance to shed a tear. You'rebusy from early morning 'til late at night.And so, some 20 years later, she died of natural causes with an endless number offriends, The African Violet Queen of Milwaukee.Just one visit, seeing just one place where she still had energy, and then capitalizingon that energy and spreading it over everything.And you can't give a-a beautiful African Violet to people without arousing theirgood feeling toward you. She had plenty of friends of all ages. And at the church'sChristmas party, there were all these African Violets. The old, the young, the sick,the well, newly-born, newly-christened, newly-married. It was a wonderful outlet forher. And she really didn't have time to feel depressed. I saw her only once.Psychotherapy is treating a patient as an individual who is unique. There will neverbe a duplicate of that person. And you use the uniqueness of that person. And thatperson possesses a lot of unknown qualities. And I discovered she liked AfricanViolets. I promoted a liking that she already had.
P.S.S. Similar question was asked in a very respected healer in one of the healing systems I respect. His answer was that its not our place to judge, the system will take care of it by itself.
And I fully agree, but this is different, as healthier people take better choices for the community in the long run, but in this case, we aren't helping anyone get healthier, we directly choose with the systems outcome of that specific choice and situation.
Lets say we do this profesionally and get many clients a day. And for example one wants to demolish 2 schools and a hospital to build a casino. And we do think that is not beneficial to the place he will do it in (lets say small city - no other hospitals or enough schools nearby).