Fivearts.org

Author Topic: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes  (Read 437 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Online greenapple

Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #15 on: October 17, 2018, 10:54:32 AM »

When my non Chinoy friend asked me to teach him Hokkien, I started the first lesson as follows:
1. “Dog” = KAU
2. “Arrive” = KAU
3.”Enough” =   KAU
4. “Thick” =  KAU
5. “Hook” = KAU
6. “Drain” = KAU
7. “Submit” = KAU
8.”Monkey” = KAU
9. “9” = KAU
After that, he never returned for his second Hokkien lesson.
I wonder why…

Online JLim

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Total likes: 713
  • Gender: Male
  • MANGPAI BAZI TEACHER-CONSULTANT (Blindman School)
    • View Profile
    • JLim School of Bazi
Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #16 on: October 17, 2018, 04:46:20 PM »
Hokkien is a Chinese dialect.  Mandarin is the most important dialect used in English-speaking CM forums.  Mandarin only has 4 tones, so luckily it's a bit easier.

After that, he never returned for his second Hokkien lesson.
I wonder why…
Too bad that he hasn't stayed to learn the characters!  ;D  The writing part is much harder, which is true for any dialect!

Online greenapple

Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2018, 06:48:27 AM »

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that...
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”

Online PdStelle

  • Administrator
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 131
  • Total likes: 92
  • Gender: Female
  • Be curious, be kind!
    • View Profile
Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #18 on: November 06, 2018, 08:43:21 PM »
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale. ;D

Online JLim

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1089
  • Total likes: 713
  • Gender: Male
  • MANGPAI BAZI TEACHER-CONSULTANT (Blindman School)
    • View Profile
    • JLim School of Bazi
Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2018, 04:29:40 PM »
The robot slaps the son.
...
The robot slaps the father.
...
The robot slaps the mother.
...
Slapping, slapping, slapping.  The truth really hurts! Maybe there are times that the truth had better remain untold
Quote
Robot for sale. ;D
Oh, come on, why shoot the messenger?  :D :D

Today is the first day of the Winter months in the solar calendar.  Happy Winter, everybody! Happy Hai month!!

Online greenapple

Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2018, 09:00:20 AM »

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver.
Whisky and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and ice will ruin your brain.
Coke and ice will ruin your teeth.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Online PdStelle

  • Administrator
  • Full Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 131
  • Total likes: 92
  • Gender: Female
  • Be curious, be kind!
    • View Profile
Re: #laughter#amusingtales#funnycornyjokes
« Reply #21 on: December 01, 2018, 08:20:13 PM »
[Hidden post: You need login to forum to see it.]

 

Powered by EzPortal