Want to know about my life in terms of romance and career

[ren]

Hi Rontron5k,

Regarding the lady you dated in August, I think this query is better handled by a divination method.
As I mentioned in another post, most of us here using a hexagram divination method.

So, you can consider figuring out a way to cast a hexagram with your query question or use this site -> https://bright-hall.net/wwg/.

I don’t have the time right now, but I would be interested in exploring how QMDJ handles these affairs.

All the best,

ren

[aeonrel]

@rontron5k

Interestingly, regarding your sister, in your Luck Pillar from 1997 to 2006, between 10 - 20 years old, the LP stem Gui forms a combination with your Hour Pillar Wu earth.
Earth, as controlling element for you, is typically career, but when it comes to personality, it can represent your strength of character, especially with 7K.
Gui water, your equal/friend/sibling element, probably refers to your sister.
The combination reduces energy for both elements, which can explain for the trauma (weakened character) pairing with poor relationship with your sister (reduced Gui).

Is the time period correct?

---

I am still very interested to understand how truly your romantic life is affected this Luck Pillar (2017-2026). Because of the Si-Shen combination that happens only during this LP, unlike the Bing-Xin combination which is contained in the natal chart and will last a lifetime. Is it really because of some direct pressure from your mother affecting your love pursuits? Or is it really overthinking on your end? Or something else?

At first, after Gmuli's suggestion, I thought overthinking must be it. But yet you took the first step reaching out to the lady you are interested in. So that seems less characteristic of overthinking. Or was there a lot of overthinking before hand, and the approach was delayed?

But I agree with ren though. So something so specific such as "will this girl accept me?", or "is this person truly the one?" is best handled with divination methods.

[ren]

Hey All,

The way I currently see things, the lady Rontron5k currently has an interest in may turn out to be nothing, may be a casual dating friend or become a girlfriend – dependent on querent's intention and hers. Overall, this is neither good nor bad. His future long term relationship or wife may come later. But that does not mean Rontron should not be currently pursuing ladies, dating, etc.

With regard to a suitable querent question, “will this girl accept me?”, can be a reasonable question. I would say at this current time, “is this person truly the one?” may not be.

ren

[rontron5k]

@rontron5k

Interestingly, regarding your sister, in your Luck Pillar from 1997 to 2006, between 10 - 20 years old, the LP stem Gui forms a combination with your Hour Pillar Wu earth.
Earth, as controlling element for you, is typically career, but when it comes to personality, it can represent your strength of character, especially with 7K.
Gui water, your equal/friend/sibling element, probably refers to your sister.
The combination reduces energy for both elements, which can explain for the trauma (weakened character) pairing with poor relationship with your sister (reduced Gui).

Is the time period correct?

---

I am still very interested to understand how truly your romantic life is affected this Luck Pillar (2017-2026). Because of the Si-Shen combination that happens only during this LP, unlike the Bing-Xin combination which is contained in the natal chart and will last a lifetime. Is it really because of some direct pressure from your mother affecting your love pursuits? Or is it really overthinking on your end? Or something else?

At first, after Gmuli's suggestion, I thought overthinking must be it. But yet you took the first step reaching out to the lady you are interested in. So that seems less characteristic of overthinking. Or was there a lot of overthinking before hand, and the approach was delayed?

But I agree with ren though. So something so specific such as "will this girl accept me?", or "is this person truly the one?" is best handled with divination methods.

Well there were some things that my sister did during that time period that made me hold a grudge on her but nothing big, I think she was a bigger negative influence on me between 2013-2018, it would be a real life example of her reducing spouse and 7k when I think about the presence of my sister living in the same space as me and my girlfriend. It was mostly because my sister wanted to make sure she gets her half of ownership
of the home. It even caused me to despise my parents for me putting me in a situation which I felt I had no control over. Basically like a bad deed was accidentally committed with noble intentions.Nowadays I no longer hate her and we get along fine.

Interestingly, my sister left soon after me and my girlfriend of 5 years whom I thought I was going to marry left me.


Well firstly I can explain my romantic timeline for 2017 until present. I cannot remember exact dates but I went into a relationship near the end of 2013. My relationship became really shaky in 2018 aug-sept as my ex decided to move away and live by herself and she wanted a break from me, she came back to me almost a month or so later but lastly she broke up with me for good a few days after CNY in 2019. I felt quite broken inside and felt like I lost a sense of identity. Throughout 2019 I met a few girls from online app and got into a relationship with one that lasted until first half of august 2023. It was definitely the wrong type of relationship and some what abusive, felt like a karmic relationship and the hardest part was breaking up with her which I already wanted to do in 2020 but even I can’t believe it dragged out until recently and I am glad it is finally over as I found the courage to tell her. The girl I am seeing now is someone I met from my workplace around March 2023 of this year and I started secretly liking her. Eventually I followed her on Instagram and she initiated talking to me and we casually chatted online until we met up in August… It got passionate fast on first time dating. My intentions is to find a long time partner whom I can get married with but she has been busy with her life so we rarely get to meet and I do not know what her intentions are for me and she told me she needs time. She is studying Astrology so we have even exchanged birth data.

Secondly I don’t think my mother is the big influence. I was a self conscious kid growing up and one event really left a scar on me and cause me to avoid rejection. A second event also caused me to change my outer personality quite a bit after I experienced rejection in highschool from thr girl I had a crush on. In general I would say all my relationships that came after highschool were either sudden or mostly I was the one being pursued. So this time around, I feel
like I am being challenged as I am the one doing the chasing once again and I definitely overthink about it on this part.

[aeonrel]

Hi @rontron5k ,

Thanks for sharing your background.

Unfortunately, I really can't correlate 2013 to 2018 with the way I read your chart

All your relationship woes starting from 2017 can still be reasoned with the Si-Shen combination for this 2017-2026 luck pillar.
Suppose that is correct, then I am not sure how to advise for love, because in the 2027-2036 pillar, Bing is being sucked into the original Bing-Xin combination, losing fire (relationship luck). Following pillar, 2037 to 2046, has a Wei that will combined with your original Wu, losing fire again.

[rontron5k]

Hi @rontron5k ,

Thanks for sharing your background.

Unfortunately, I really can't correlate 2013 to 2018 with the way I read your chart

All your relationship woes starting from 2017 can still be reasoned with the Si-Shen combination for this 2017-2026 luck pillar.
Suppose that is correct, then I am not sure how to advise for love, because in the 2027-2036 pillar, Bing is being sucked into the original Bing-Xin combination, losing fire (relationship luck). Following pillar, 2037 to 2046, has a Wei that will combined with your original Wu, losing fire again.

I heard I am a weak daymaster, would having some diminished fire be a good thing to keep things in balance?

[aeonrel]

@rontron5k ,

Well, your fire elements are not as devastating as your earth, especially the 戊 suppressing your Day Master.
So I would rather deal with the 戊 instead of reducing your fires further.
After all, fire is your wealth - better you strengthen yourself to grasp its benefits than to lose more of it.
For that I think introducing yang metal will be better, especially in the stems to bridge 戊 to your Day Master.

[rontron5k]

@rontron5k ,

Well, your fire elements are not as devastating as your earth, especially the 戊 suppressing your Day Master.
So I would rather deal with the 戊 instead of reducing your fires further.
After all, fire is your wealth - better you strengthen yourself to grasp its benefits than to lose more of it.
For that I think introducing yang metal will be better, especially in the stems to bridge 戊 to your Day Master.

So I need to reprogram ymy mind and break throught menta barriers.

[aeonrel]

@rontron5k ,

In a way, yes.
But anything within the realms of support element activities that makes sense to you will do.
i.e. More rest/sleep, meditation/contemplation, learning to name a few.

[Gmuli]

At first, after Gmuli's suggestion, I thought overthinking must be it. But yet you took the first step reaching out to the lady you are interested in. So that seems less characteristic of overthinking. Or was there a lot of overthinking before hand, and the approach was delayed?

I think its a little different. He will charge for her(Ren clashing Bing).but...
Yin comes to support Wu. So she tries to combine with him. Chou comes in the way, pushing Wu away then combining with Yin instead.
So way of thinking that pushed inner world away that she believes in and leaves.
Like someone saying negative stuff that they don't really feel, but that makes sense and seems solid at the time and somewhat with the idea of protection.
So Wu and Yin had combination. But now Chou is activated, pushing Wu away with Harm and making hidden combination with Yin instead.
She is dropping the deep connection and she actually is convinced by the logic of Chou/xin.
And there is Resource in Chou, so based on knowledge. Metal so voiced out/said stuff.

What can one do...
Well, it isn't just thinking. Xin has images of voice. Both in Chou and on top. So this is said stuff that she believes and breaks the connection.Careful of speech.
Avoid Xu and Wei for dates. 13-15 and 19-21.
And more positive thinking. : )

There are other parts to this. Metal empowers DM. So making yourself stronger breaks the connection to Wu in Day Branch.
So being more vulnerable in theory in relationship, but this is way too far from what we can say in forums, so much guessing now.
But may be along these lines.

And in 2013-2018 mechanic is different. All fall in Chen, so this doesn't play at. Chou hidden stem shows a sibling and a document/knowledge/resource. Another Sibling in Chen with hidden water stem. So another person and sister. Soon as that is over and new LP starts, all are free and they leave, as Chou combines with Yin again.

[rontron5k]

At first, after Gmuli's suggestion, I thought overthinking must be it. But yet you took the first step reaching out to the lady you are interested in. So that seems less characteristic of overthinking. Or was there a lot of overthinking before hand, and the approach was delayed?

I think its a little different. He will charge for her(Ren clashing Bing).but...
Yin comes to support Wu. So she tries to combine with him. Chou comes in the way, pushing Wu away then combining with Yin instead.
So way of thinking that pushed inner world away that she believes in and leaves.
Like someone saying negative stuff that they don't really feel, but that makes sense and seems solid at the time and somewhat with the idea of protection.
So Wu and Yin had combination. But now Chou is activated, pushing Wu away with Harm and making hidden combination with Yin instead.
She is dropping the deep connection and she actually is convinced by the logic of Chou/xin.
And there is Resource in Chou, so based on knowledge. Metal so voiced out/said stuff.

What can one do...
Well, it isn't just thinking. Xin has images of voice. Both in Chou and on top. So this is said stuff that she believes and breaks the connection.Careful of speech.
Avoid Xu and Wei for dates. 13-15 and 19-21.
And more positive thinking. : )

There are other parts to this. Metal empowers DM. So making yourself stronger breaks the connection to Wu in Day Branch.
So being more vulnerable in theory in relationship, but this is way too far from what we can say in forums, so much guessing now.
But may be along these lines.

And in 2013-2018 mechanic is different. All fall in Chen, so this doesn't play at. Chou hidden stem shows a sibling and a document/knowledge/resource. Another Sibling in Chen with hidden water stem. So another person and sister. Soon as that is over and new LP starts, all are free and they leave, as Chou combines with Yin again.

Indeed the took the first step but that was only because on our first date, it was very obvious that she liked me. The overthinking came after because it seems like she was a playing a mind game with me by gradually communicating less. As a consequence my fear of rejection kicked in as well and I halted from attempting to make any further advances. Not sure if there is still a chance or a time to make it get back on the track of success in 2024.

What you just described for 2013-2018 might be referring to a my ex-girlfriend and sister. And at the time, my sister was doing everything she can to claim herself a share of the apartment as she does not legally have right to it she but she was trying was trying to hold on through my parents. She saw my ex-girlfriend as a threat so she made it hard for her to live there. In the end we were unable to get married and finally my sister left as well. The whole situation felt karmic.