Well, you know what you want. : )
Bazi may have its problems, but its good starting point, usually.
I don't, personally, believe one can go so beyond their chart, to be able to make a happy marriage in long term if its totally against the elements. And I've tested a lot of stuff to see how much we can change a chart, from meditations that doesn't make ripples in the elements, to attunements that change stems and branches, to doing it with focus in everyday events, to let fields hold other arrangements and much more...
All can change it to some degree, but its not good idea to change it much in my view, now. I'm just letting it stay in the default way last few years.
There are reasons for all this, however, and its not what it seems,but this is waay too long and complex to go into in a forum post.
My idea is - you know what is important for you. Make sense to follow that in this case and see where it leads.
The rest... Well, there is more. There are other points of view to this, that will show it in very different light. Then the choice would be based on other stuff, in many cases, but that will need you to know stuff that maybe you don't know, and its not the place, or it seems also the time for that now.
So with this setup I guess wise move may be to forget the bad chart guy and can aim for someone else more suited to what you want. As that is the logical choice from that point of view I think.