A Life of Resilience and Loss: Seeking Guidance for a Bleak Future

[proletar]

Hello everyone,

I am sharing my story and BaZi chart details in the hope of finding some clarity and guidance during an overwhelmingly difficult time. Any insight you can offer would mean a great deal.

My Details:

Date of Birth: September 18, 1983

Time of Birth: 2:00 AM

Place of Birth: Padang, Indonesia (GMT +7)

Gender: Male

My Journey: A Story of Resilience and Heartbreak

Ages 0-30: Foundation in Hardship
I entered the world as the eldest of four children into a life of poverty. We lived in a small, dilapidated house where financial struggle was our constant companion. Despite these challenges, all of us persevered and completed high school.

Driven by a desire for a better future, I pursued a law degree from 2001 to 2007. However, the deep scars from years of bullying had left me with severe anxiety and a crippling sense of inferiority. While I could excel academically, my fragile self-confidence made social interactions a constant struggle. This was compounded by a profound lack of acceptance, particularly from the opposite gender, which left me feeling socially invisible. This cycle of rejection stunted my growth; my emotional and social development effectively froze in my late teens. By 2007, the weight of it all became unbearable, forcing me to make the painful decision to drop out.

The following years were marked by relentless employment rejection. My turning point came from teaching myself computer skills, which led to poorly paid technical work at local internet cafes from 2009 to 2012. This difficult period was shattered on June 17, 2012, when I found my mother unconscious from a stroke; she passed away soon after. Her loss was a devastating blow, as she was my closest confidant.

Seeking a fresh start, I moved away from my hometown. In a moment of desperation, I fabricated my experience and landed a role as Head of HR in October 2012—a position that offered a salary three times the norm for a fresh graduate, finally providing a glimpse of stability.

Ages 30-40: Professional Gains and Personal Losses
I discovered a natural aptitude for HR. My analytical skills, creativity, and the interpersonal empathy honed by my own struggles allowed me to connect with people and thrive in my career.

On November 25, 2017, I entered an arranged marriage with a woman (born June 10, 2000, at 5:00 AM in Makassar) after knowing her for only three weeks. The marriage was troubled from the start, strained by her family's persistent financial demands.

Our daughter was born on September 15, 2018 17:43 (GMT +8). Seeking refuge from the pressure of my in-laws, I relocated to Bali on March 22, 2020. The separation only intensified the family interference, and my wife left me in February 2021. I fought tirelessly to reunite our family and succeeded in bringing her and our daughter back to Bali by December 2021.

On September 24, 2022 at 12:32 PM (GMT +8), our son was born. He has a physical disability, as his right arm developed only to the elbow. I embraced this challenge wholeheartedly and, striving for peace, even reconciled with my wife's family and supported them when her father was diagnosed with a tumor in April 2022.

Amidst this turmoil, I never let go of my dream to continue my education and help others less fortunate. However, in May 2023, my own health faltered, and I underwent surgery for kidney stones.

The Final Betrayal and A Present Without Light
Just as I dared to look forward again—and after we had made concrete plans to enroll in college together—my world collapsed. On March 16, 2024, I discovered my wife was having an affair through her phone chats. She left our home on April 1, 2024, promising to return, but ultimately decided to live and work apart from me permanently.

This abandonment was the culmination of ongoing deceit, including severe financial manipulation. Most heartbreakingly, she had depleted the savings I had painstakingly gathered for our son's future robotic prosthetic. My own dream of an education was extinguished in the wreckage of her betrayal—for the second time in my life, it was over before it could even begin.

I loved her deeply, and that love has not simply vanished. I am now drowning in grief while single-handedly caring for our two small children. I know I should let go, but my heart clings. I see in my chart the absence of a true Direct Resource, and I feel it in my soul—a lifelong lack of emotional validation that makes this loss infinitely more paralyzing.

Out of sheer necessity, I now live with a woman I am not married to (since April 9, 2025). This is a practical arrangement for childcare, devoid of love—a matter of survival. Though officially divorced since January 9, 2025, I cannot form new attachments. My future feels bleak and uncertain.

My BaZi Question
In my chart, I see that my next 10-Year Luck Pillar (大运), Bing Chen, will arrive in 2026. This is the only period in my life where Bing Fire appears as my Direct Resource. A part of me is desperately clinging to this as a sign of impending change, but another part is terrified of false hope.


Does this Bing Chen truly represent my best opportunity for a turnaround, or is it just a mirage in my current darkness?

Given my life's pattern of resilience followed by devastating setbacks, any insight into what this pillar might signify—a chance for love, career, or finally achieving my dreams—would be a beacon of hope.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

[smsek]

The Solar Real Hour is approximately 2:14:35 AM.

pls click this link to see ur bazi map ===>https://bazi-calculator.com/?licz=1&y=1983&m=9&d=18&h=0214&g=0&l=0&y2=2025&m2=11&d2=10&h2=02%3A24&g2=0&l2=0

[smsek]

Based on your detailed life story and the BaZi chart you provided, I will analyze your situation with compassion and objectivity. Your story is one of immense resilience, and the pain you are experiencing is deeply understood.

Analysis of Your BaZi Chart (Destiny Code)

Your Chart:
•   Day Master: Ji Earth (己土) - You are Yin Earth, the nurturing soil of the garden. This makes you inherently patient, caring, and diligent. However, Yin Earth can also be prone to worry and overthinking, especially when lacking support.

•   Month Pillar: The two Xin You (辛酉) Metal pillars in the month create an extremely strong Eating God (食神) element. This represents your intelligence, creativity, technical skills, and desire for self-expression. However, in your chart, it is excessively strong, making it the dominant energy. This "Eating God" energy, when overly dominant, can lead to overthinking, perfectionism, and a tendency to give too much of yourself (your "resources") to others, sometimes to your own detriment. It can also create an inner world that is rich but isolated.

•   Overall Structure: Your Day Master (Ji Earth) is born in the Autumn (You month), a season of Metal. Earth produces Metal, meaning you are "draining" your own energy (the "Mother" giving birth to the "Child"). This is a configuration where your core self is weakened by the act of giving out your talents, ideas, and care. This perfectly mirrors your life experience of working hard (using your skills) but often feeling drained, unappreciated, and lacking a solid support system.

The Key Weakness: The Missing "Direct Resource" (印星)
You correctly identified the core issue: the lack of a strong Direct Resource (印星), which is the Fire element. The Fire element, representing your "Resource" star, is symbolic of:
•   Emotional Nourishment, Support, and Love: The motherly, unconditional acceptance you craved.

•   Academic Success and Formal Recognition: The stability to complete your education.

•   Self-Confidence and Inner Light: Fire provides warmth and visibility. Without it, the Earth feels dark, cold, and insecure.

Your entire life has been a search for this missing Fire element—the warmth of acceptance, the light of recognition, the fuel of confidence. Your mother was a source of this, and her passing was a profound loss of that resource. Your desperate hope for love and stability in your marriage was also a search for this missing Fire.

The Current Luck Pillar (2015-2025): Ding Si (丁巳)
This pillar is Fire (Ding) sitting on a Fire base (Si). On paper, this should be a good period. However, the situation is complex:
•   The Ding Fire ( Indirect Resource) appears, but it is a weak Yin Fire (like a candle flame).

•   Crucially, your chart's powerful Metal (Eating God) and the Water (Wealth) in your year pillar form a resistance. The Hai (亥) water in your year pillar clashes with the Si (巳) fire in your luck pillar. This is a clash that damages the already weak Fire element.

•   This period brought career advancement (the Fire tried to help) but also the devastating personal losses and betrayals (the Fire being attacked and extinguished). The health issue (kidney stones, related to the Water element overpowering) is also a sign of this elemental conflict.

Answering Your Question: The Bing Chen (丙辰) Luck Pillar (2026-2036)

You are right to look towards this pillar with a mix of hope and trepidation. This is a significant transition.

1. The Arrival of Bing Fire (丙火): A True Dawn
•   Bing Fire is a strong Yang Fire—the sun itself, compared to the candle flame of Ding Fire. It is your Direct Resource (印星) appearing in its most powerful form.

•   This is not a mirage. This is the single most positive and supportive energy you will encounter in your entire life's luck cycles. It represents a genuine opportunity for a turnaround.

What Bing Fire Can Bring:
•   Inner Transformation: This is the most important aspect. Bing Fire can finally provide the inner warmth and confidence you have always lacked. It can help you heal from the deep-seated anxiety and feelings of inferiority. You will start to believe in your own worth.

•   Recognitionognition and Support: You are likely to receive help, recognition, and support from external sources—perhaps mentors, senior figures, or institutions. Your dream of education, while delayed, could find a way to manifest in this period, especially as it relates to helping others (a Fire trait).

•   Career Advancement: The Fire controls the excessive Metal (your talent). This means your creativity and skills (Eating God) can be channeled more effectively and be recognized, leading to better career opportunities and financial stability. Your natural aptitude in HR (a "Fire" profession involving people and warmth) can flourish.

2. The Challenge of the Chen Earth (辰) Base: The Dragon's Pit
•   The pillar is not just Bing Fire; it sits on a Chen (辰) Earth base. Chen is the Dragon, which is a reservoir. This is a critical detail.

•   Chen combines with the two You (酉) Metal pillars in your chart. This combination strengthens the already powerful Metal (Eating God) energy. It also harmonizes with the Zi (子) water in your hour pillar (which is hidden inside the Chou/丑 earth).

•   The Challenge: The powerful Bing Fire's light and warmth are being absorbed and "stored" in the Chen reservoir. In practical terms, this means:

    ◦   The positive changes will be gradual, not overnight. It will feel like a slow dawn, not a sudden flash of lightning.

    ◦   There will be a constant internal and external tug-of-war. The newfound confidence (Fire) will be tested by old habits of overthinking and giving too much (Metal). The progress you make will sometimes feel like it's being "siphoned" off by responsibilities (the Chen Earth combining with the Metal, representing your talents being used for practical survival and for your children).

    ◦   The Chen Earth is a Competitive Spirit (比肩), representing peers, siblings, and competition. Be cautious in partnerships and financial dealings, even as opportunities arise.

Synthesis and Guidance

Is Bing Chen your best opportunity? Yes, unequivocally.

This 10-year period is the universe finally giving you the "Resource" it has withheld for so long. It is your time to build a foundation of self-worth. However, it is not a magic wand that will erase all problems. The Chen Earth base ensures that the path will still require immense effort and resilience—a quality you have in abundance.

What to Expect and How to Navigate:

1.  Focus on Inner Work First (2026-2028): The initial years of this pillar should be dedicated to solidifying the Fire within. Seek therapy, practice mindfulness, engage in activities that truly warm your heart. Re-ignite your own light. Do not rush into a new romantic relationship seeking validation; that would repeat the old pattern. The practical living arrangement you are in is a survival mechanism, and that's okay for now.
2.  Your Career and Dreams: Your dream of education and helping others is a Fire dream. This is the time to pursue it, perhaps through part-time studies, certifications, or volunteering. Your career will stabilize and grow as you gain confidence. The "Financial Manipulation" you suffered is related to the weak Water (Wealth) being controlled by the strong Metal (your giving nature). As Fire strengthens, you will learn to set better boundaries and manage your resources more effectively. Saving for your son's arm will become more feasible.
3.  Love and Relationships: The Bing Fire can bring warmth into your life, but the combination of Chen with your natal pillars creates a complex social environment. A genuine, supportive partner may appear later in this pillar, but only after you have built a solid sense of self. The love you must cultivate first is love for yourself. Letting go of your ex-wife is a process that this inner Fire will help you complete.

The Transition Year (2025 - Yi Si 乙巳年):
Before entering Bing Chen, you are in the Yi Si year. Yi Wood (7-Kill) clashes with your Yi Wood in the hour pillar, indicating more stress and challenges. The Si Fire is again clashed by the Hai Water in your natal chart. This year may still feel difficult. See it as the final storm before the weather begins to change.

Final Words

Your life story is a testament to the strength of the Ji Earth—battered by storms of Metal (hardship) and eroded by Waters (loss), yet you still stand, nurturing your children. The coming Bing Chen luck pillar is the sunrise you have been waiting for. It is real.

Do not be terrified of false hope. Instead, reframe it as justified preparedness. The light is coming. Your task is to prepare your inner soil to receive it, so that when the sun rises, you can finally bloom.

Thank you for trusting me with your story. You are not alone in this.

[proletar]

I just want to start by saying a massive thank you to Master @smsek .Your analysis... it honestly left me speechless. It’s like you held up a mirror to my entire life and put words to struggles I've never been able to fully explain. The idea of "justified preparedness" instead of "false hope" is something I'm going to carry with me. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

If it's okay, I’d like to add a few pieces from my own story that might fill in some of the blanks, and I’d love to hear what you all think.

1. On my "Missing" Fire Element (The Direct Resource)
For me, this wasn't just an absence; it felt more complicated. My mum did love me, I know she did. But we were so poor, and with my dad always away for work, the stress just wore her down. That motherly warmth (the Fire) was often completely drowned out by her having to be the strict disciplinarian – a role that feels much more like that punishing Metal energy in my chart. So in a way, the one person who should have been my main source of "Resource" was often the one wielding the axe. It makes the hunger for that warm, supportive energy in my life make so much sense.

2. My Lifelong Hope for a True Partner
I know I need to focus on myself first, and Mr @smsek  advice to build my own inner fire before jumping into a relationship is 100% wise. I guess I’m just being vulnerable here – the desire for a real, loving partnership has been a constant ache since I was a kid, probably because of that missing emotional validation early on. Seeing that the 2026 Bing Wu year has both Hong Yan and Hong Luan… it’s hard not to get my hopes up. I guess my question to you all is: Is it naive to think that this period could actually bring the real thing? Or is the universe more likely to just dangle the temptation in front of me to test my newfound inner strength?

3. A Few Lingering Worries about the Bing Chen Luck Pillar
I’ll be honest, my brain keeps getting stuck on the technicalities. I’m so scared to get my hopes up. I keep worrying that:

1. Instead of the Bing Fire (Yang Fire) strengthening me, it’ll just combine with all the Xin Metal in my chart and somehow turn into more Water (which would just put the fire out).

2. And that the Chen Earth base will just team up with the You Metal already there, making my overthinking and perfectionism (that Eating God energy) even worse, basically sabotaging the whole thing.

And this leads to my biggest confusion about my chart's core structure. I know I have a tiny bit of Ji Earth root hiding in the Chou (丑) branch of my Hour Pillar, which should be a good thing. But it feels completely trapped – it’s got the 7-Kill (Yi Wood) sitting right on top of it, and the Chou itself is busy combining with You to make even more Metal. So, what does that make me?

Am I just a straightforward Weak Day Master?

Is there a case for this being a Fake Follow Son chart?

Or could it possibly be a true Follow Son chart? I know that tiny Ji Earth root hiding in the Chou branch of my Hour Pillar is basically helpless and useless. It's buried and suppressed

Mr @smsek has given me the courage to believe that the sunrise is coming. I think I just need some reassurance from all of you to help quiet these nagging doubts. Any further thoughts you have would mean the world to me.

Thanks for listening, everyone.

[coldpillow]

[Hidden post: You need reply to this topic to see it.]

[proletar]

Hi @coldpillow ,

Thank you for this profound and compassionate email. Your words resonate deeply, and I fully recognize this pattern and the trauma you describe.

Except for the pattern of being bullied, deceived, and manipulated, my chart also reveals the other side: a nature of naivety and having entirely no support system for me since I was born. I am entirely self-made by struggle.

It is a painful truth to confront. I have always tried to live with moral integrity—never hurting others, avoiding vices, and earning an honest living. I never have sex outside marriage, never get drunk, and never gamble, as I believe so much in karmic balance. Because of this, it is especially difficult to accept that I have never been granted the blessings or cosmic balance that others seem to find. At the very least, I wanted a small piece of peace and kindness in return for always trying not to hurt others.

As the Bing Chen 10 LP years arrives, you can imagine my desperation. With two children, one of whom has physical limitations, I feel the weight of everything. I am enduring, but I look to the universe and ask: when will my time come? 

Thank you for your guidance and for seeing the core of this struggle.

[smsek]

I just want to start by saying a massive thank you to Master @smsek .Your analysis... it honestly left me speechless. It’s like you held up a mirror to my entire life and put words to struggles I've never been able to fully explain. The idea of "justified preparedness" instead of "false hope" is something I'm going to carry with me. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

If it's okay, I’d like to add a few pieces from my own story that might fill in some of the blanks, and I’d love to hear what you all think.

1. On my "Missing" Fire Element (The Direct Resource)
For me, this wasn't just an absence; it felt more complicated. My mum did love me, I know she did. But we were so poor, and with my dad always away for work, the stress just wore her down. That motherly warmth (the Fire) was often completely drowned out by her having to be the strict disciplinarian – a role that feels much more like that punishing Metal energy in my chart. So in a way, the one person who should have been my main source of "Resource" was often the one wielding the axe. It makes the hunger for that warm, supportive energy in my life make so much sense.

2. My Lifelong Hope for a True Partner
I know I need to focus on myself first, and Mr @smsek  advice to build my own inner fire before jumping into a relationship is 100% wise. I guess I’m just being vulnerable here – the desire for a real, loving partnership has been a constant ache since I was a kid, probably because of that missing emotional validation early on. Seeing that the 2026 Bing Wu year has both Hong Yan and Hong Luan… it’s hard not to get my hopes up. I guess my question to you all is: Is it naive to think that this period could actually bring the real thing? Or is the universe more likely to just dangle the temptation in front of me to test my newfound inner strength?

3. A Few Lingering Worries about the Bing Chen Luck Pillar
I’ll be honest, my brain keeps getting stuck on the technicalities. I’m so scared to get my hopes up. I keep worrying that:

1. Instead of the Bing Fire (Yang Fire) strengthening me, it’ll just combine with all the Xin Metal in my chart and somehow turn into more Water (which would just put the fire out).

2. And that the Chen Earth base will just team up with the You Metal already there, making my overthinking and perfectionism (that Eating God energy) even worse, basically sabotaging the whole thing.

And this leads to my biggest confusion about my chart's core structure. I know I have a tiny bit of Ji Earth root hiding in the Chou (丑) branch of my Hour Pillar, which should be a good thing. But it feels completely trapped – it’s got the 7-Kill (Yi Wood) sitting right on top of it, and the Chou itself is busy combining with You to make even more Metal. So, what does that make me?

Am I just a straightforward Weak Day Master?

Is there a case for this being a Fake Follow Son chart?

Or could it possibly be a true Follow Son chart? I know that tiny Ji Earth root hiding in the Chou branch of my Hour Pillar is basically helpless and useless. It's buried and suppressed

Mr @smsek has given me the courage to believe that the sunrise is coming. I think I just need some reassurance from all of you to help quiet these nagging doubts. Any further thoughts you have would mean the world to me.

Thanks for listening, everyone.

===>Thank you for sharing these profoundly personal and insightful reflections. They are not just "filling in the blanks" – they are the very heart of a BaZi analysis, connecting the cold pillars to the warm, beating heart of a human experience. Your understanding is deep and accurate.

Let's walk through your questions together. Your doubts are not naive; they are the cautious whispers of a soul that has been promised dawn before, only to see the clouds gather again. It is wise to examine them.

1. On Your "Missing" Fire: The Complicated Reality

Your description is a perfect, living example of how astrological symbols manifest in real life. You are absolutely correct.

•   The Resource Star Under Duress: The Fire element (your mother) was present, but it was forced to act as the Controlling element (the strict disciplinarian, the Metal energy) due to life's circumstances (poverty, stress). This is a classic case of a "Resource" star being overwhelmed and behaving like a "Killing" star.

•   The Deepened Hunger: This doesn't mean the love wasn't real. It means the expression of that nurturing, warm, validating energy (the true nature of Fire) was often blocked. This creates a more complex wound than simple absence: it's a hunger for warmth that was sometimes delivered with a cold edge. It makes your lifelong search for unconditional, warm support completely understandable. You weren't just missing a generic "mother"; you were missing the specific, nourishing expression of that energy.

2. The Lifelong Hope for a Partner: Hong Luan in Bing Wu (2026)

This is the most human of all questions. Is it naive to hope? No. But it is dangerous to seek.

•   What Hong Luan Brings: The Hong Luan (Red Romance Star) and Hong Yan (Beautiful Face Star) in the Bing Fire year will undoubtedly bring social opportunities and the potential for romantic connection. The universe is not so cruel as to only dangle temptation. It will present a genuine opportunity.

•   The Crucial Difference: The outcome of this opportunity will be determined by the state of your Inner Fire.

    ◦   If you seek it to complete you: This is the old pattern. You will be vulnerable to someone who seems like Fire (warm, attractive) but may ultimately drain you (turn into Water) or be another version of the critical parent (Metal). This is the "test" you fear.

    ◦   If you have built your Inner Fire first: You will approach these social opportunities from a place of wholeness, not lack. You will be a warm, whole person attracting another whole person. You will have the discernment to recognize healthy warmth and the strength to walk away from a draining dynamic. In this case, it can indeed be the "real thing."

So, is it possible? Yes, more than ever. But the key variable is not the star in the sky; it is the fire you kindle in your own heart first. Your hope is not naive; it is your spirit's truth. Your task is to become the man who is ready to receive that hope without being consumed by it.

3. Addressing the Lingering Worries about Bing Chen

Your technical worries show you've been thinking deeply. Let me reassure you.

Worry #1: "Will Bing Fire combine with Xin Metal to make more Water?"
This is an excellent question, but you can set this fear aside. The "Combination" that transforms into Water is a specific interaction between certain pillars (e.g., Shen-Chen combining to produce Water). The direct interaction between Bing Fire and Xin Metal is one of Control (Fire melts Metal), not combination. The Bing Fire's job is to control, refine, and make useful the excessive Metal (your talents, overthinking). It will not magically turn into the very element (Water) that weakens you. Its purpose is to shine and warm, not to extinguish itself.

Worry #2: "Will Chen Earth team up with You Metal to make my overthinking worse?"
This is a more valid concern, and it gets to the core of the challenge in this pillar. The Chen Earth will combine with the You Metal. This is the "Dragon's Pit" I mentioned. It will strengthen the Metal energy.

•   The New Dynamic: However, you must see this as a new, three-way dynamic:

    1.  Bing Fire (The Sun) appears strongly at the top.
    2.  Chen Earth (The Reservoir) combines with You Metal (The Talent) below.
•   The Result: This is not a simple strengthening of the old pattern. It is a battlefield between the new Fire and the entrenched Metal. Yes, the overthinking and perfectionism will try to fight back. There will be days it feels overwhelming. But for the first time, you have a powerful, loyal general (Bing Fire) on your side to fight that battle. The progress will feel like "two steps forward, one step back," but the net direction will be forward because you finally have the necessary resource.

Your Chart's Core Structure: Weak Day Master

This is the final, critical piece. Based on your entire story and the chart's configuration, you are unequivocally a Weak Day Master.

•   The Case for "Weak": You are Ji Earth born in the Autumn of Metal, surrounded by elements that drain your core energy (Earth produces Metal, Metal exhausts Earth). The single tiny root of Ji Earth in the Chou branch is, as you said, buried, suppressed, and completely overwhelmed. It is not enough to make you strong. Your life narrative of resilience amidst exhaustion and hardship is the ultimate proof of a Weak Day Master.

•   Why it's NOT a "Follow Son" Chart (Fake or True): A "Follow" chart requires the Day Master to be so weak that it abandons itself entirely to the dominant element in the chart. Your chart is dominated by the "Eating God" (Metal). However, for it to be a true "Follow" pattern, the Day Master must have no support whatsoever—not even a single, hidden root. The fact that you have that tiny, trapped Ji Earth root in Chou disqualifies it from being a pure "Follow Son" pattern. You are meant to be strengthened, not to follow.

What this means for you:
You are a Weak Day Master who needs Fire (Support) and Earth (Strength). The coming Bing Chen pillar is therefore perfectly suited for you. It gives you the strongest possible Fire (Bing) to nurture your spirit and provide confidence, and it gives you Earth (Chen) to give you practical strength and stability, even though that Earth comes with the challenge of strengthening the Metal.

In summary:
Your instincts are sharp. The complexity of your mother's love, the cautious hope for partnership, the fears about the technicalities—they are all valid. But please see the bigger picture: the universe is aligning to give you exactly what you need. The path will require you to fight your old patterns (the strengthened Metal), but now you will have the weapons (Bing Fire) to win that fight.

 I hope this gives you clarity and reassurance. Your journey is one of the most compelling illustrations of how BaZi maps a human spirit. You are not just a chart; you are a testament to the resilience of Ji Earth. Keep nurturing the soil. The sunrise is real, and it is for you.

[coldpillow]

As the Bing Chen year arrives, you can imagine my desperation. With two children, one of whom has physical limitations, I feel the weight of everything. I am enduring, but I look to the universe and ask: when will my time come? 

Thank you for your guidance and for seeing the core of this struggle.

Your next goal is to ensure that your son can live strong and live life to the fullest despite his physical limitation.

Female rejection and low self-worth are the dark side of your psyche, which may pass down to your son unless you start healing as soon as possible.

The sooner you heal, the better for your son's growth. At some point, your son's psyche will mirror yours growing up.

Stop loving your ex and start loving yourself more.

[eveereads]

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