A Life of Resilience and Loss: Seeking Guidance for a Bleak Future

[coldpillow]

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[eveereads]

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@eveereads

I notice a pattern as observed from his details above.

His good moments are associated with cold. His bad moments are associated with heat.

Good:
- Daughter birthday: September 2018
- Son birthday: September 2022
- Family reunion: December 2021
- Landing a job with good salary: October 2012

Bad:
- Death of a loved one: 17 June 2012
- Separation: February 2021
- Betrayal: March 2024
- Divorce: 09 January 2025

Regardless the structures, I think wood should be controlled or remain weak. Not grow or take roots.

Not sure how to interpret this in his real life.

I agree with your view.
As I mentioned earlier, Fire brings Metal both social elevation and financial advancement, yet at the same time it inflicts mental strain and emotional hardship. Wood grants Metal individuality and a sense of autonomy, but because Wood also generates unpredictable events and elements of social disorder—things that conflict with Metal’s inherent attachment to structure and norms—Wood, like Fire, becomes a source of psychological stress.

Metal represents intellectual and spiritual development; naturally, it seeks Water to reach intellectual and spiritual resolution, and through that, a sense of inner freedom and peace.

But the idea that Wood and Fire are “bad” for Metal, and therefore must be subdued or disabled, is not only incorrect from the standpoint of Yin and Yang and the Five Elements, but also impossible by human effort.
We can neither destroy Wood simply because we wish to, nor can we grow it at will.
Every character in the chart expands or diminishes according to the Luck cycles, and accordingly, we experience emotional and situational changes.

Furthermore, the weaker and smaller a particular element is in one’s chart, the more precious and deeply longed-for it becomes to the chart holder. Without realizing it, a person will attempt to nurture that very element, cherishing it all the more. Yet the weaker it is, the more it remains an ideal rather than reality—something that exists only in the mind.
Thus, when the energy of that purely mental element grows under certain Luck, the dominant forces within the chart react against it, attempting to control it. This clash often manifests as painful emotional or physical events.

In other words, when Wood becomes strong (from January into spring and summer), Metal pushes back and strikes Wood. This can manifest as the death of loved ones, conflicts with them, or other painful disruptions.

But it is not the case that Wood, being Indirect Officer, is “someone else,” and that Metal is “me.”
People often misunderstand Metal-controlling-Wood as two separate entities in conflict. That is not so.
When Metal controls Wood within one’s own chart, it means I am simultaneously Metal and Wood.
Within a single second, I enact both Metal and Wood.
This is the nature of Yin and Yang—Body (Ti) and Function (Yong) moving together within the same person and the same life.
In other words, it is not Wood that causes the chart holder’s grief; it is Metal itself.
And in this, we return full circle to the fundamental principle that all things—whether joy or sorrow—ultimately arise from within me.